E a opção "Outro"??????
Queria aqui botar, fachabôr (não, não é no Ricardo Araújo Pereira) no grande:
Jeremy "Jezza" ClarksonEste homem sabe fazer rir, não me farto de ver os episódios de Top Gear, principalmente por causa dele. Apresenta o programa com mais 2 marmanjos, so what? Não é ele que escreve metade das piadas, so what? Não é difícil fazer piadas com carros, principalmente se meter mulheres ao barulho, so what? Não sobe propriamente a um palco para fazer stand-up, so what?
Tanto os programas como os DVD, como os artigos da revista, como a coluna do The Sun são sempre fantásticas, hilariantes por vezes, emocionantes, apaixonantes. O homem tudo o que um stand-up comediant deve ter, faz rir, sem piadas baratas, sem palavrões, sem vozinhas engraçadas, bonequinhos, nada. Humor bom, humor inteligente, humor negro, tem de tudo!
And when you rely on a sat nav, you don’t notice that the sun is in thewrong place in the sky. You stop using your inbuilt compass, yourinnate sense of which way is up. And don’t argue with any of this.Everyone can navigate by instinct, and if you can’t there’s somethingwrong with you and you should be in prison. The only people who can’tnavigate instinctively are women and anyone trying to find Malpensaairport in Milan.
Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you.
I've seen better looking gangrenous wounds than this. (Clarkson on the Porsche Cayenne)
(Referring to the Porsche Cayenne) 0-60 takes 5 and a half seconds...and about 17 gallons of fuel....
A turbo, exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, with asupercharger, air goes in,witchcraft happens and you go faster.
This is the latest S Class. Now available with a very economical:Twin-turbo, Six litre... I don't mean economical do I? That's the wrongword...
Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear, I mean it was great,until it pulled your head off, which it would. One day, it would pullyour head off.
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, putit on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one oftheir customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.
Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run overhim again for good measure. They are designed to melt ice caps, killthe poor, poison the water table, destroy the ozone layer, decimateindigenous wildlife, recapture the Falkland Islands and turn the entirethird world into a huge uninhabitable desert, all that before theynicked all the oil in the world
(On the Audi R8) Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle acow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto KeiraKnightley.
I'd like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.
The Ferrari 355 is like a quail's egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts' belly button.
(On the Alfa Romeo Brera) Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You've heardshe's mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn'tyou?
(On the Brera again, talking about a version with a slow 0-60mph timeand a big price tag) It's like Cameron Diaz. You know she's avegetarian, you know she's a commited eco-mentalist... would you sayno? That car is like Cameron Diaz, with wheels.
If this car was a breakfast. It would be cornflakes on toast.
(On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG)It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.
Aston Martin DB9... that's not really a racing car, that's just pornography.
(On the BMW X3) If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wakeup in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car.
What Overfinch did with the old Range Rover was replace the 4.6 LitreEngine with a 5.7 Litre V8 from a Corvette. And thats fine in a carwhich weighs nearly 2 tonnes...If your name is BP Esso McShell.
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is liketelling them you've got the ebola virus and you're about to sneeze.
I'd rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a FordGalaxy; Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflowerfixation; I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.
You do not just avoid the Suzuki Wagon R. You avoid it like you would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.
Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work.It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that itcan be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of halfhour close up of some bloke's sweaty face.
Deciding which one is worse (the Austin Allegro or Morris Marina), is like deciding which leg you'd rather have amputated.
(about the Ford Escort) It's powered by engines so rough, even Moulinex wouldn't use them.
It costs Volkswagen 200 pounds to buy a set of four fuel injectors forthe Golf diesel. Kia could propably make a couple of cars for that.
This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Notthat that's much to shout about. That's like saying 'Oh good, I've gotsyphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!'
(about the Chevrolet Corvette Z06) In many ways then this car is likeherpes. Great fun catching it but not so much fun live with every day.
(On a Audi RS4 Convertible) The only person who looked good in a 4-seated convertible was Adolf Hitler
(On the evolution of the Golf GTI between MkI and MkIV) I voted forthis as the greatest car of the 20th century. Over the years, however,the Golf GTI got bigger, and fatter, and slower. Think of it as ElvisPresley. It started off all athletic and full of vigour, and wound upon the lavatory, an enormous, dribbling hulk.
(To Lewis Hamilton at the NTA Awards) ...And if you see Fernando Alonso again, tell him his eyebrows are too big...
Top Gear FTW
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